EXCLUSIVE: Albo Alarmed By LA Riots

A leaked transcript of the speech Prime Minister Anthony Albanese will deliver to placate Australians’ concerns about the world’s increasing instability.

My fellow Australians,

Like many of you, I have been watching with increasing alarm as other countries and cities around the world descend into chaos, anarchy and violence.

The scenes in Los Angeles are especially concerning. President Donald Trump has deployed Marines onto the streets. Can you believe it? I don’t think any of us thought we would ever live to see American troops pointing guns at American citizens, but we may do so very soon.

That’s not all. We mustn’t forget that rival gangs are setting off bombs every day in turf wars over large parts of Sweden, which has also become the rape capital of Europe.

In London, if you walk down the street wearing a watch or talking on your phone, you are literally asking to be mugged at knife point.

Last year, Islamic State claimed responsibility for a mass stabbing in Germany in which three people were killed and eight injured. Islamic State! Operating inside Germany!

Just last month, the French government released a report saying that the biggest threat to the nation was not climate change, but the local branch of the Muslim Brotherhood! The report found that the Muslim Brotherhood does not seek to integrate with France, but wants to take it over instead.

My friend Emanuel Macron has ordered an urgent inquiry into this inquiry. Everyone who has an interest in European multiculturalism is eager to find out what this next inquiry will find.

Jews are not safe anywhere in Europe any more, and many of them are fleeing to the relative safety of Israel instead.

Like you, I am watching all this with increasing alarm, and anger. Everywhere around the world, ordinary people of all religions and ethnicities are out on the streets enjoying the benefits of 21st century progressive politics while people like you and me in Australia can only experience it vicariously through social media.

Well, if you share this frustration, then don’t despair. My government is working day and night to make sure that our cities become just as rat-infested, chaotic, anarchic, violent and hellish as those places now getting millions and millions of hits on YouTube and TikTok.

And one day soon, when George Soros and Bill Gates give us the green light, you too will be free to vent your virtuous anger with all the theatrical drama that Soros film crews are capturing in Los Angeles right now.

So far the outbreaks of violence in Australian are minor, and are only captured on CCTV — such as this machete attack on a carload of kids in the previously boring suburb of Doreen in Melbourne last night — or on shaky handheld phones — like this vibrant confrontation between Hindus and Sikhs outside Flinders Street station in the Melbourne CBD.

But soon Soros crews will be embedded around Australia, along with sleeper cells, for when the culture of progressive politics fully colonises Australia and the real fun can begin.

Already we have established no-go areas that are so dangerous that not even the Minister for Home Affairs, Tony Burke is safe in them. Only two months ago he had to flee from angry Muslims in his own electorate!

The Federal Police made sure he was safe so he could continue his important work of flooding more marginal electorates with more Muslims to help Labor stay in power forever, and the transformation of Australia from stable democracy to vibrant centre of progressivism can be completed.

You may not realise this, but Labor has been planning to implement this generational change since Paul Keating was Treasurer in 1992. Keating, who was a true Labor visionary, noticed that Australians were less and less inclined to have children, and seized a rare opportunity. Instead of implementing taxes that encouraged people to have more kids, which as we all know is bad for the environment, he forced all Australians into a superannuation scheme to make them pay for their own retirement, since they wouldn’t have children to look after them.

This not only created a multi-trillion-dollar pot of money, which my government is now eyeing off like a Botox GP at a women-only business conference, but it also forced every government since then to import millions of economic migrants from Third World shitholes to work in 7-11s and ride Deliveroo bikes while doing the more important work of replacing the current population.

This is one area where Australia is proudly years ahead of the world.

In 2000, a full eight years after Keating’s cunning plan was introduced, the United Nations got on board with a report called Replacement Migration, which devised “policies and programs relating to international migration, in particular replacement migration, and the integration of large numbers of recent migrants and their descendants.”

It fills my heart with pride to see an Australian policy being picked up so thoroughly by none other than the United Nations! And now it’s working so well that the streets of Los Angeles are positively glowing with vibrancy and the United States President has to call out the Marines to cool things down! What a time to be alive!

And before you think that we western leaders are carelessly destroying western civilisation and fracturing international relations, think again. My other friend, Chinese President Xi Jinping, rang me last night to ask if I too was watching things develop in Los Angeles. He said that there is nobody in the world who thinks all this fulfils history’s progressive agenda than he does!

So grab your keffiyehs and molotov cocktails, my fellow Australians. As my hero Billy Bragg once said, the Third World is just around the corner!